Brotherly and Not-So-Brotherly Mutant Moments
by Balin Lord of Moria
Summary: <html><head></head>A series of short stories and flash fictions involving the four core Mutants living life the way only the Mutants of Plun-Darr can live it, sliming the walls, monkeying around, sniffing out trouble, soaring to new heights (or lows), and enjoying, or not enjoying, each other's company. NOTE: I'm willing to take some reader's requests for this one.</html>
1. Stolen Helmet

**This is an idea I came up with after looking at some fan fictions written by other authors in other archives. In it, I try to come up with some brotherly, and not-so-brotherly, moments between the comedians of **_**ThunderCats**_**, the Mutants, my favorite characters in the cartoon. The main characters will be Slithe, Monkian, Jackalman, and Vultureman, with an occasional appearance by Ratar-O. It'll also include the ThunderCats, the Lunataks, and Mumm-Ra, obviously, in some of the chapters, maybe many of them. Other, lesser characters might figure in it, too, and I may even include some OC's in some chapters. There will be some things from the real world included in these chapters, too, to add some color to the story. **_**Enjoy!**_

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _ThunderCats_. It's the property of Warner Bros.

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><p><span>Stolen Helmet<span>

It was your typical sort of day in Castle Plun-Darr, like it usually was. At the time this little story begins, Slithe, the leader of the Mutants, was drinking some red wine and chowing down on a leg of lamb. He had to admit, the quality of the food in the place was getting better. Maybe it was due to that threat he had given their lizard cook, about sending him to be skinned alive by the Micrits, those tiny creatures that showed little mercy to those whom they deemed a threat to their society. The cook didn't want to get anywhere near those little critters, claiming that they once snuck into Castle Plun-Darr and stole all of his favorite silverware.

It was a nuisance, babysitting a lazy, cowardly cook, Slithe knew, but he also knew it served to have better food in the Castle than they normally did back in the days when Castle Plun-Darr was still pretty new.

Suddenly, Monkian stomped into the dining room, looking as angry as he normally got. Slithe sighed. This couldn't be good. Every time Monkian got mad, something got broken, and he had to crawl to Vultureman to have it fixed.

"Hoo, hoo, hoo! All right, Slithe! Where did you hide my lucky helmet?" Monkian demanded.

Slithe looked at him more closely. Monkian wasn't wearing his signature helmet that he usually wore.

"How should I know?" he said in an annoyed voice, "I'm busy eating and drinking some of the best food in Castle Plun-Darr right now, so how should I know where your bloody helmet is, yessss?"

"Hoo! Hoo! I know you did it, Slithe!" Monkian insisted, "You snitched it in the middle of the night and hid it so you would even the odds of me hitting my head and getting a headache just like the rest of you do when a ThunderCat thumps you! Hoo! Hoo!"

Slithe stared at the Ape Man as if he had a cuckoo bird coming out of his now exposed forehead. "Monkian," he said as patiently as he could, "I'm the leader of our Mutant group. I have to take charge when we face Mumm-Ra or the ThunderCats, or the Lunataks, as well. I don't have time or an excuse to take your stinking helmet and hide it somewhere. If anything, it's either under your bed, or you left it with your SkyCutter."

"Hoo, hoo. I don't think so, Slithe," said Monkian, crossing his arms, "It's been stolen."

"Oh, really?" said Slithe sarcastically, "Why would anyone want to steal it? That thing is worthless to everybody but you."

Monkian stared at him as if he wished he had X-ray vision so he could see through the Reptilian.

Slithe sighed again. "Fine, Monkian," he said, "You think I took it? Then search me. If you find it on me, then you can call me a thief, yessss?" He spread his arms and got into a frisking position.

Monkian looked at the slimy reptile in disgust and said, "You wouldn't be stupid enough to have it on you."

Slithe threw up his arms. "Fine, then," he said, "Why stop at accusing me? Why don't you accuse one of the other Mutants?"

Monkian looked thoughtful for a moment. "Vultureman does have shifty eyes. Then again, everything he does is shifty."

"Well, we can't argue with that, now, can we?" said Slithe, grinning at the mad Mutant. Suddenly, the door flew open again and Jackalman ran into the room. He looked distressed.

"Slithe! Slithe!" he said, "Did you just see what Vultureman did with a turkey? He zapped it with one of his contraptions, and it turned inside-out!"

Slithe leered at him in disgust and said, "No. I was eating, and then I was being grilled, yessss?"

"Oh, well, then I guess you should be glad you didn't see what happened to that turkey!" said Jackalman, "I might not have a good appetite for a long time now!"

"Hoo, hoo, hoo! Woo, woo! Where is it, Jackalman?" He stared Jackalman in the eyes.

Jackalman said, "Nyah! Where do you think it is, Monkian? It's spread out all over one corner of the floor in Vultureman's laboratory."

Monkian grabbed Jackalman by the shoulders. _"I'm talking about my lucky helmet!_ The one that all Simian Mutants wear, to protect their heads from damage, right? Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!"

Jackalman looked surprised at that. "Oh, your helmet, that's it. Nyah! Ha! Ha! What makes you think I would do it? The only things I ever stole were a variety of weapons and treasure that the Mutants of Plun-Darr have always plundered, and that's part of our job as citizens of the galaxy."

"That's not entirely true, Jackalman," said Slithe warningly, "You stole my trusty axe when you made that foolish rebellion less than a year ago, yessss?"

"Hoo, hoo! Yes, and you also stole Vultureman's Flying Machine at the same time, woo, woo, woo!" Monkian reminded him.

Jackalman whimpered for a moment, but soon regained his bearings and said, "Nyah! Yeah, I did that, all right, but I was being foolish and reckless back then, thinking I had it in me to go it alone. I wouldn't steal Monkian's helmet, not even for a prank, okay?"

"Well, somebody did it, all right," said Monkian, "And it _can't_ be me. I wouldn't steal my own helmet and place it somewhere where I can't find it! Woo, woo! Hoo!"

"Caw! Stranger things than that have happened than that with you as part of the Mutant team, Monkian," said Vultureman, entering the room at that moment. "Slithe! You'll want to see what I did with a wild turkey and my latest invention, the Inside-Out Juicer! I'll bet even the ThunderCats can't stand up to it! Cawww!"

"No thanks, Vultureman," said Slithe, "I think I've already lost my appetite just now, yessss?"

"Hoo, hoo! All right, it's your turn to be grilled, Vultureman!" said Monkian, rounding on the Avian Mutant.

"Caw! What's he talking about, Slithe?" said Vultureman, "I've seen Monkian make weird demands before, but now he seems to think we're all out to get him."

"Nyah! Maybe we will be, if he decides to go up in arms against all three of us over a stupid helmet," said Jackalman.

"It's not stupid, Jackalman!" roared Monkian, "It's lucky! It's something that all Monkians wear! I feel naked without it! And I intend to find out which of you stole it before the day is out!"

Slithe said snidely, "I don't suppose, Vultureman, that you've invented a rubber hose among all your junk? It would be useful to root out the fool who's causing all this quarreling."

"Caw! The only rubber hose I have, Slithe, is the fire hose we use to put out fires in Castle Plun-Darr!" protested Vultureman, "And you know we can't waste our precious water supply on an interrogation over a lost helmet!"

"That's it! Hoo, hoo, hoo! I'm going to get my Simian Shield! I'll torture all of you with its energy rays, until someone fesses up! How do you like that?" shouted hopping mad Monkian, and he ran to his quarters to get his shield weapon that he often wielded in combat.

While he was gone, the other Mutants argued over what to do about a situation like this.

"I say we use the hose, anyway," said Slithe, "That way, we can do some torturing of each other without any real pain or lasting damage, and this stupid argument can end, yessss?"

"Caw! I have a better idea about how we can find out who the crook is," said Vultureman, "I have a high tech lie detector in my lab. We can give each other a lie detector test."

"Nyah! Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way, guys?" asked Jackalman. "Let's vote on the thief."

"Ridiculous!" said Slithe, "Plun-Darr is _not_ a democracy, Jackalman. It's an anarchy. Have you forgotten that?"

Monkian re-entered the room at that moment, carrying his shield. But he didn't look as passionate about "torturing" his fellow Mutants as he had before. "Woo, woo. Just forget it, guys, no hard feelings," he said, "It's not that lucky, and I wear it mainly for decoration, okay? Now, why don't we all sit down for a nice, brotherly meal?"

Jackalman stared at him. "How can we do that?" he asked. "We're only brothers if we trust each other, and you don't trust us!"

"Well, I…I uh…" said Monkian, as if trying to form the words with difficulty.

"Caw! Spill it, Monkian!" said Vultureman. "Something's up! You're not the type of Mutant who normally has mood swings! Cawww!"

Monkian looked embarrassed. "Well, I, uh…I found my helmet. When I went back to my room to get my Simian Shield, I picked it up and…the helmet was behind my shield. I must have, uh, put it there when I went to bed last night. Hoo, hoo, hoo."

He looked around at the appalled faces of the other Mutants and said nervously, "Hoo, hoo! I guess it's kinda funny, right?"

Vultureman said bluntly, "No."

"You ridiculous fool!" yelled Slithe, "You made us all feel like thieves when we stole nothing of yours, and after you show so much commitment to making us look like bad guys, you crawl back in here and tell us you misplaced it after all! I don't know about the rest of you, but I've had enough of this fight! I'm gonna try to get my appetite back." He turned back to his meat and wine on the table.

Jackalman said, "I'll join you, Slithe. Despite the fate of that poor, ghastly turkey, I feel like sitting down and eating, too. Nyah!"

"And hard work makes a bird hungry, too," said Vultureman, "I'll go and see if the lizard cook has any carrion dishes to offer me." He went off to the kitchen.

"Hoo, hoo, and what about me?" asked Monkian hopefully, looking at the other Mutants' faces doubtfully. His fears were soon confirmed. Slithe looked at him balefully.

"Go out and catch your own, primate," he growled, "I don't let jerks have gourmet food after they nearly break up what brotherhood the Mutants of Plun-Darr still have. Take your precious helmet and shield with you, too. They'll probably protect you immensely, and I don't want to look at them for a while, anyway!"

And while the other Mutants settled down for a meal of red wine, lamb meat, and rabbit carrion, Monkian trudged outside to do his own hunting. He took off his helmet for a moment, gazed at it, and said, "This is all your fault!" Then he cast it into the moat. Immediately, he regretted it, as the crocodiles and alligators that swam in the moat took an interest in it. He panicked and tried to get it back, but the crocs and gators kept snapping at him, making it difficult for him to get it back.

"Hey, lucky helmet, I was just kidding! Please come back to me! Woo, woo, woo!"


	2. Mutantology

**All the characters in this chapter are fictional. So are the two Mutantology books. Only the Great Ape Project is real.**

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><p><span>Mutantology<span>

Vultureman was busy pacing around Castle Plun-Darr, impatiently waiting for something. "Caw! Where is that lady, anyway?"

"Hoo, hoo! Relax yourself for once, Vultureman," said Monkian, "The Mutantologist said she'd be a little late, didn't she?"

"I know," said Vultureman, "But I just wish she'd get here! I want to get this lesson over with. Cawww!"

"You're one to talk, Monkian, yessss?" said Slithe, _"You're_ usually the Mutant who's the most hyperactive, not Vultureman. Although I wish that old human would get here, too. This field work she does is a nuisance to the Mutants of Plun-Darr."

"Yes, Slithe," said Vultureman, "But although I want to get this over with, unlike the rest of you, I sympathize with this woman's wishes. Mutantology is a science, and like me, the Mutantologist is a scientist. She deserves to teach the galaxy what Mutantkind is biologically like. Cawww!"

"Hoo, hoo, hoo!" exclaimed Monkian, "But don't you think that'll make it easier for our enemies to defeat us, including the ThunderCats?"

"It's a risk we have to take, Monkian," said Slithe, "as much as I despise it."

"Nyah! What are you guys talking about, anyway? What's a Mutantologist?" asked Jackalman.

"Caw! I can't believe you're _that_ ignorant of Mutant sciences, Jackalman!" said Vultureman, "Even Monkian is already aware of what Mutantology is."

"Just tell me what it is, Vultureman, all right?" insisted Jackalman.

Vultureman sighed. "All right, then," he explained, "Mutantology is a form of both zoology, the biological study of animals, and anthropology, the study of cultures and customs. A Mutantologist studies the Mutants of Plun-Darr, from both libraries, classrooms, and in the field on planet Plun-Darr. They study the behavior, customs, and cultures of the many different Mutant races, and write it down in books, journals, and scripts for holovision documentaries and docudramas. This particular Mutantologist is named Dr. Allie Prime. She's a very accomplished scientist of Mutant biology, and she's the author of _Fantastic Beast- and Birdmen and How to Find Them_, the best book on Mutantology ever written. It's a simply written textbook that's also fully illustrated. Evidently, all of us here have read it except for you, Jackalman, due to your ignorance of Mutantology, because there's a copy of it in my lab among my other books. It's a fascinating book, easy to read, and I once convinced Slithe and Monkian to read it while you were out gallivanting somewhere."

"Yessss," said Slithe, "I did read it once. And as much as I resent being studied, the book was surprisingly accurate about the ways of Plun-Darr."

"Well," said Jackalman, "If this book is easy to read, then I imagine even Monkian found it fascinating."

"Hoo, hoo. Well, I don't know exactly, Jackalman," said Monkian. "The pictures were good, at least. I started to read it, but I got drowsy."

The other Mutants stared at the Ape. "Caww! How typical of a Mutant like Monkian!" said Vultureman sarcastically.

"Yessss," agreed Slithe, "How typical of him."

Jackalman laughed. "Monkian probably can't even read at all!"

"Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Of _course_ I can read, you guys!" Monkian shouted, "I…just wasn't sure where to start and where to finish."

All the Mutants laughed, including Slithe. Monkian sulked.

At that moment, there was the sound of a spaceship landing just outside of the gate of Castle Plun-Darr. The Mutants raced for the door, tripping and tumbling over each other on their way to the gate. When they all got there, they straightened up and stood at attention as Slithe had a Reptilian guard open the gate.

Outside the gate stood a human woman of about early middle age, tan-skinned, dark-haired, dressed in sharp traveling fatigues like a uniform, and a small crew of women stood with her near her medium-sized spaceship, the _Lamb's Lance_.

"Greetings, Mutants of Third Earth," she said courteously, "I am Dr. Allie Prime, and this is the crew of my ship here."

"Uh, at your service, Dr. Prime," said Slithe, not sure of the proper protocol to address this Mutantologist by.

She smiled, something people didn't normally do when conversing with Mutants. "That's all right, Reptilian. I don't require your service, although I do require your temporary cooperation."

Vultureman stepped forward. "Allow me to introduce myself and my…cronies, Dr. Prime," he said.

"_Your_ cronies, bird-beak?" said Slithe.

"Oh, sorry, Slithe," said Vultureman, "Anyway, you know what I meant, ma'am. I am Vultureman, a great scientist in my own right. This slightly rude Reptilian is Slithe, our official leader, and these are Monkian and Jackalman, our tough foot soldiers."

Slithe clenched a fist. Monkian and Jackalman chafed at being called "foot soldiers" in front of a stranger. But Dr. Prime merely acknowledged their presence kindly and offered to shake their hands.

"Pleased to meet all of you," she said. "Now, let's get one thing quite clear, gentlemen. Unlike most sentient beings in the galaxy, I have great affection for the Mutants of Plun-Darr, due to their natural connection with the animal world, and _not_ their warlike ways. But I am not here to get involved with your ongoing war against the ThunderCats, because I don't like to take sides in such a ridiculous conflict. And I expect the utmost respect from all of you while we talk today. Is that clear?"

"Absolutely," said Vultureman. Monkian, Jackalman, and Slithe looked a little more reluctant to be respectful, but they said they'd do their best.

"Very good," Dr. Prime said. "Now, let's go inside and get this lesson started."

"Of course, ma'am," said Vultureman, and the Mutants parted to let her walk through along with her pilot.

In the parlor of Castle Plun-Darr, Dr. Prime pulled a few books and some documents out of a satchel she carried over her shoulder and put them on the table the Mutants usually used for card-playing.

"Except for Jackalman, who, as you've told me, hasn't heard of me before," she said, "you all know how I earn a living, and how I get personal joy out of it, too. I have studied many different kinds of Mutant races over the years, like the Goatians, the Sheepmen, the Penguinmen, the Orangutanians, the Duckmen, the Amphibians, the various Fishmen, the Hyenians, the Elephantmen, the Alligatormen, etc. The list goes on and on. I've learned all kinds of things about these Mutants, like the spiritual rivalry between the Sheepmen and the Goatians, the ancient history of the Alligatormen, why a Hyenian usually lives in a matriarchal society, and why it laughs maniacally while fighting a ThunderCat Lion, the affinity for both land and water that the Amphibians share, and how an Elephantman makes great comfort in bed for a lonely young woman like me-"

The Mutants exchanged disgusted looks. Dr. Prime noticed this and said, "-But that happened years ago, and that's another story that has little to do with Mutantology. Anyway, it's been some time since I was last in the field, and I'd like to learn from you four what the Lizardmen, the Monkians, the Jackalmen, and the Vulturemen are like, both in lifestyle, biology, and in combat against a foe."

Even Vultureman was surprised. "You want us to show off our talents and bodies to you, if I understand correctly, and you want to observe how we fare in a battle against the ThunderCats?" he inquired.

"Basically, yes," Dr. Prime confirmed.

The Mutants looked at each other again. Slithe sighed. "Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt to let it all hang out and lose another battle with the ThunderCats, yessss?"

"Hoo! Hoo! Let me go first!" Monkian suddenly started begging. "I wanna show off my stuff for a reason besides _just_ battle for once in my life."

Dr. Prime smiled. "Very well," she said, "Stand right over there, Monkian, and I'll start assessing my knowledge that I already have about Monkians."

Monkian walked over to one wall near a window, so Dr. Prime could see him easily. "Now," said Dr. Prime, "Back at the Plun-Darr Institute on Earth in the Milky Way Galaxy, anthropology Professor Michael Rawling, zoologist Jon Dunning, and myself, have been working on the old theory first postulated by the late Dr. Repto, that the Simian Mutant is intrinsically more intelligent than the ordinary human being."

Slithe and Jackalman scoffed at this under their breath, but Vultureman told them to keep quiet, even though he more or less agreed with them.

"Dr. Repto came up with the following details," Dr. Prime continued, "First, the Simian has a brain that matches the size of a man's brain, and can talk and think intelligently like a man. Second, Simians are closely related to the Great Apes, especially Chimps and Gorillas, and along with Orangutans, these animals are seen as equals to man because of their high intelligence and human-like behavior, and because of the efforts of the Great Ape Project that was started back in Earth's early 21st century. Third, the Simians are very clever in their own right, and although some see the term 'ape' as an unflattering word because of its literal definition, it shows that the Apes of Plun-Darr are indeed near-perfect imitations of humans. These postulates formed the fundamental basis of all of Dr. Repto's thinking, and remained with him until his death."

The Mutants, including Monkian, found this very interesting to their simple minds. Vultureman, however, was taking notes, and Slithe privately wondered why.

"Now, I've taken this theory one stage further," Dr. Prime continued, "I've noticed in the many Wars of Plun-Darr that the Simians can adapt well to territory and landscape, not to mention environment. Their fur keeps them insulated against the cold, yet is osmotic enough to keep them cool in warm, humid places like rainforests, too. They also have the talents of actual monkeys and apes, like being able to swing through the trees with ease and speed, as well as to land on their feet when they fall, almost as well as a cat, and to grab items, or people, in a flash, while swinging toward them. They also have strength that's very superior to the strength of most humans, and can use it to fight most cleverly and with excellent agility."

"Standard IQ tests gave the following results. The Simians scored badly when compared with primitive human sub-groups like the bushmen of the Kalahari, but better than laboratory-based primatologists. The surprisingly high total of those torturous lab men can be explained away as being within the ordinary limits of statistical error. One particularly cruel and manipulative lab researcher concocted the whole thing up!"

"However, these IQ tests were thought to have an unfair cultural bias against the Simian Mutants. It didn't take into account the Simian's extremely simple lifestyle, for example. To devise a fairer system of tests, a team of our researchers spent two years on Plun-Darr living like Simians, and subsequently killed by Simians who didn't appreciate their presence on their territory, proving that the Simian is indeed a clever old fellow in his own environment. However, as I stated earlier, Simians can adapt to almost any environment. The only one they are not adapted to at all is the desert, both hot, sandy deserts like the Sahara, and cold, icy deserts like Antarctica, to name a couple of examples from Earth."

"Therefore, we devised a test to be given to a small group of cooperative Simians in their own environment. The professor asked the Simians what was the next number in this sequence: 5, 15, 30, 50, 75, 105, 140, 180, 225, 275? While not the most complex question to ask a sentient, it was one that would take a fair amount of intelligence to answer correctly, and the Simians couldn't figure it out. It seemed at the time that the theory was wrong. But then, we removed this problem when we asked the same questions to the Simians, and to a random group of average, everyday citizens of some English-speaking countries."

"The results of these tests were most illuminating. Not one of the ordinary citizens was able to figure it out, but in the end, a Simian finally learned the answer to that first question. And several subsequent questions were answered better by the Simians than by the humans. And these inquiries led to certain changes at the animal labs on Earth. Bonobos began to study human subjects. Chimpanzees began to play smart games with human children. And Gorillas started to fight guerrilla warfare in the military, or perhaps one should say, 'gorilla warfare.'"

Monkian was proud of this, to say the least. Slithe and Jackalman stared in stunned disbelief. This slow-wit, Monkian, smarter than all of them? Vultureman found it especially hard to believe, but he still continued to take notes as the other Mutants were studied.

The studies of the other Mutants were shorter, but still interesting. Jackalman was appalled to learn that a Hyenian was a lot braver and more daring than the average Jackalman, not to mention that Jackals were naturally afraid of Elephantmen. It was amazing how many embarrassing details he had forgotten while stuck on Third Earth. Slithe found out that Reptilians like the Lizardmen were cunning, but not nearly as admirable as leaders in Mutant society, because of their sneaky ways and their slimy bodies. And Vultureman found out, to his great interest, that Vultures like himself liked to feast off the kills they made and leave the bones to back up the armor on their weapons and vehicles. That, and the fact that Vulturemen were natural-born brainiacs that almost always got a degree in science, chemistry, and art in Plun-Darrian universities.

"Now," said Dr. Prime, "I would like to see how well you can fight against your foes, like the ThunderCats."

"Nyah! Do we have to?" complained Jackalman, "I don't like the idea of fighting them just for the sake of fighting them."

"Something the matter, coward?!" mocked Slithe.

"You're not doing it just for the sake of fighting them, Jackalman," said Dr. Prime, "I don't care whether you win or lose. I just want to know how you four operate in combat against the Cats of Thundera."

"Oh, all right, all right," submitted Jackalman with a whimper, "Let's go! But I still don't like this."

"Caw! Stop complaining, Jackalman," said Vultureman, "And it'll be over before we know it, maybe even before the good doctor knows it."

"Hoo, hoo, hoo! I don't doubt that!" remarked Monkian.

* * *

><p>They were soon riding towards Cat's Lair, intent on ambushing the Lair with a sneak attack. Dr. Prime rode with Vultureman in his Flying Machine. The others drove their own vehicles, the NoseDiver and the SkyCutters.<p>

Sure enough, the ThunderCats came out from the Lair before they even arrived. The ThunderTank, the HoverCat, and the ThunderClaw came out of the Lair's metal right paw, and some of the other ThunderCats came out of the front door on foot. The Mutants lured them into an area where a forest grew and attacked them.

Jackalman was soon chased by the HoverCat, piloted by Ben-Gali. Like the coward he was, the Jackal fled, although he intended to do a surprise ambush from somewhere nearby. Monkian landed his SkyCutter and stood among the trees, in his element, as Tygra jumped out of the ThunderTank to deal with him. Slithe charged the ThunderTank head-on. Vultureman kept an eye out for more trouble. Dr. Prime just sat back and observed the fight.

She watched as Slithe attempted to blast the front of the ThunderTank with his laser drill. That didn't work due to the tough armor of the Tank. So he tossed a warp gas grenade into the vehicle. Panthro was soon un-confident and crashed the vehicle, but Lion-O leaped out and used the Sword of Omens to blast at the NoseDiver. Cunning Slithe attempted to get Lion-O with another warp gas grenade, but the Eye of Thundera destroyed it and crippled the NoseDiver, sending Slithe flying into the bushes.

Jackalman went behind some trees and waited for Ben-Gali to follow him. When the ThunderCat came around the bend in the HoverCat, Jackalman soon had his back, and fired at him with all the firepower he had. Ben-Gali didn't go down so easily, however, and he circled back behind Jackalman, shooting his SkyCutter out of the sky. Jackalman fell in a large bird nest, where the chicks complained about his presence and called for their mother.

Tygra soon got Monkian's morning star mace from him and broke the handle on his knee. Monkian counterattacked with his Monkey Shield, firing cannonballs at Tygra, whose whip deflected every one of them. "Somehow, I remember a battle like this before," he muttered to himself. When Tygra's whip got his Shield away from him too, Monkian leaped into the trees and then back down, tackling Tygra, who wrestled with the Mutant.

And Vultureman's Flying Machine was being knocked about at the wings by the ThunderKittens' Space Boards. Dr. Prime had to hold on tight to stay in her seat. Vultureman took out one of his recent inventions, a high-tech acid pistol, and fired it at their Space Boards, disabling the things, but Cheetara came along in the ThunderClaw and rescued them. Then she proceeded to fire at the Flying Machine.

Dr. Prime said just then, "All right! I've seen enough! Let's all regroup at Castle Plun-Darr!"

"I couldn't agree more, Dr. Prime," said Vultureman, and the Mutants got away on their vehicles, or on foot, leaving the ThunderCats to wonder why the Mutants had made such a pointless attack for no apparent reason, and why a human woman had been sitting in the Flying Machine with Vultureman.

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><p>"Well," said Dr. Prime, "You fellows have shown me a thing or two about how you deal with battle. I think I can give an adjective to each of your fighting styles: Slithe is bold and cunning, Monkian is strong and fast, Jackalman is sneaky and cautious, and Vultureman is ingenious with his inventions."<p>

"Maybe sometime, I can show you a few more of my beautiful inventions, Dr.," said Vultureman.

"Well then, gentlemen, what do you think of Mutantology?" the doctor asked the Mutants.

"Well, it's…unique, I'll give it that," remarked Slithe.

"Nyah!" said Jackalman, "It's an interesting experience, learning from a scientist about my own kind, the Mutants of Plun-Darr."

"Hoo, hoo. I'm just glad to have been part of something that benefits my people," said Monkian, "The Simians could sure use some compliments at a time in history like this. Hoo, hoo."

"Do you mind telling me why you were taking notes, Vultureman?" asked Slithe. "I hope you're not preparing some really wacky invention that could profoundly embarrass us all!"

"Caw! It's simple, Slithe," said Vultureman, "Dr. Prime has informed me that she's editing a new book about Mutantology that she's going to call _'The Ultimate Plunder,'_ and it's going to have a lengthy, original chapter written by her, and a series of slightly shorter chapters written by other Mutantologists. And although I'm not an official Mutantologist, because of my newfound expertise on the subject, I am now going to contribute a chapter of my own. Who knows? Maybe the ThunderCats will even read the book someday, and they'll start to learn some things about Mutantkind that even they didn't previously know! Cawww!"

"Hoo, hoo, hoo! Your own chapter in a book?" Monkian said excitedly.

"That's what he said," said Dr. Prime proudly, "I think that finally, a Mutant of Plun-Darr can be put to other use than simply fighting wars against other Mutants and the ThunderCats and Lunataks."

"Nyah, nyah!" exclaimed Jackalman, "Now that's something I'd _pay_ money to read!"

"I beg to differ," said Slithe, "Vultureman has never been able to carry a tune with his ridiculous inventions, and who's to say he can do any better with a book? Although I do still applaud _your_ efforts to write that book, of course," he said, turning to Dr. Prime.

"Give Vultureman a chance, Slithe," Dr. Prime chided him, "Just because his inventions may not be the best doesn't mean he's also a bad writer. In fact, I imagine he'll do a very good job on his chapter."

"Yeah, Slithe," said Vultureman, "Give me a break for once, will you? Cawww! I can't be expected to be bad at everything, even if you and Mumm-Ra disagree!"

"Oh, fine," said Slithe, "I'll wait and see what happens with this book. But you'd still better deliver, Vultureman, or I'll lose confidence in you all over again, yessss?"

"Your patience is overwhelming, Slithe," remarked Monkian.

"Quiet, Monkian!" Slithe shouted, "I wasn't talking to you!"

"Right, sorry, Slithe," Monkian said reluctantly.

"Well, this is goodbye, then, at least, for now," said Dr. Prime. "I'll be sure to send you one of the first copies of the book when it's published. I may send a copy and a cautionary note to the ThunderCats, as well."

"Thanks for the opportunity, Dr. Prime," said Vultureman.

The other Mutants merely nodded, since they were not geared for kindness.

Dr. Allie Prime re-entered the _Lamb's Lance_ with her crew, and took off into the inky, starry void.

* * *

><p><strong>To be continued in a future chapter…<strong>


	3. A Funny Monkey

**This story is inspired by a nose-jokes scene from the Steve Martin comedy, _Roxanne_, and a couple of e-books about monkey jokes and bird jokes. Monkian is my favorite Mutant, and Vultureman is a close second, and I enjoy writing stories about them, and their 2011 counterparts, Addicus and Vultaire, partly because I have affection for all kinds of birds, and the great apes and other primates, too. But I do not own the monkey and bird jokes from those joke books, nor do I own the movie, _Roxanne_.**

* * *

><p><span>A Funny Monkey<span>

Monkian of the Mutants of Plun-Darr was sitting in the dining room of Castle Plun-Darr with the other Mutants. It had been a slow day for them today, and they were getting restless. Suddenly, Jackalman found himself asking his fellow Mutants if they'd like to play a game of Bridge again.

"Not again, Jackalman," said Slithe, "We've been playing the same old game for I don't know how long! And of course, Vultureman and Monkian always win, yessss?"

"Sorry, Slithe," said Jackalman, "It was just a suggestion."

"Caw! Why not play it again, Slithe?" said Vultureman, "You and Jackalman just have to learn to listen to the rules for once, you know-"

"I'm not playing Bridge again!" roared Slithe.

Monkian stood up. "Hoo, hoo, hoo! You think you're so tough, Slithe. Well, why don't you prove it for once? Hoo, hoo! We have better things to do than listen to your blame laying whenever something goes wrong!"

"Oh, and you're a lot tougher than me, Monkian?" challenged Slithe. "You're a cowardly buffoon who doesn't know squat about fighting for real! So there!"

"Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!" replied Monkian as he waved Slithe off and started to walk away, "And you're a real jerk, Reptile, who belongs in the kitchen where you used to be."

Slithe merely dismissed him with his own unfriendly wave, but suddenly, Vultureman stepped forward and said, "Hey! Where are you going, you slow-witted, semi-evolved Simian? Go climb a tree, will you?"

The other Mutants suddenly went silent as Monkian stopped and slowly turned. They knew, even Slithe, that Monkian didn't like it when his fellow Mutants made fun of his Plun-Darrian race. But Monkian surprised them when he simply said, "What was that, Vultureman?"

Vultureman squawked. "You heard me. Go climb a tree, you slow-witted, semi-evolved Simian! Cawww!" Vultureman laughed in his high-pitched squawk, as if what he had just said was hilarious. Slithe and Jackalman snickered, despite their frequent disagreements with the Avian Mutant.

But Monkian surprised them again. He replied, "Is that all, Vultureman?"

Vultureman looked puzzled. "Yes, of course it is, Monkian! Cawww!"

"Well, you really got me with that one, didn't you?" Monkian said with an un-readable smile.

Vultureman decided to let it pass, but then Monkian said, "Oh, wait a moment. What a waste of an opportunity! And I thought you were the one of us who jumped the most at opportunities."

"Caw! What?" said Vultureman.

"Well, you've got a Simian Mutant standing in front of you, and you think you're a barrel of laughs just because you can only think of 'slow-witted, semi-evolved,' and 'go climb a tree.'"

Vultureman scoffed at him. "Look who's talking! You can't think at all, or you can't even be bothered to think! Cawww! Wait a minute! Are you saying you can think of something funnier?"

"Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo! Yes, I think I can think of something funnier!" said Monkian. "Humor is my kind of action when we're not fighting the ThunderCats. Come over here!" He walked to a dartboard on the wall that the Mutants sometimes used to try to play games with. Of course, Slithe and Vultureman had much better aim than Monkian and Jackalman, so their games were a little one-sided. But Monkian had a different intention today. He plucked a dart from the board and handed it to Vultureman.

"Hoo, hoo, hoo! Whatever number you hit, that's how many I'll try to think up," Monkian explained.

"Caw! Okay," said Vultureman, and he aimed and tossed the dart. It landed on the number 25.

"25!" Monkian bellowed. Vultureman grinned. Slithe and Jackalman snickered at each other. "This oughta be good, yessss?" hissed Slithe.

Monkian shivered and said, "Two out of three! Two out of three!" He took back the dart and handed it back to Vultureman, who once again threw it at the number 25. Vultureman leered at him and said, "I _am_ the best dart's player among us four Mutants, remember?"

Slithe chortled, "Good luck, Monkian. You're gonna need it!"

"Nyah! Ha! Ha!" said Jackalman, "Come on, Monkian, you can do it better than he can!"

"All right, 25 better Monkey jokes, here goes nothing," said Monkian. "I'll start with this. _Steaming:_ How do you make a gorilla stew?"

"You keep it waiting for three hours!"

The Mutants laughed despite themselves, except for Vultureman, who was waiting patiently for Monkian to run out of ideas.

"_Division:_ What happens when you throw one banana to two hungry apes?"

"A banana split!"

"_Lust:_ What excuse does an ape give for abducting a pretty girl?"

"I can't help it - she brings out the _beast_ in me!"

"_Education:_ What does a chimp learn first in school?"

"The apey-cees!"

"_Marriage:_ What did the gorilla call his first wife?"

"His prime-mate!"

"_Disgusting:_ Why do gorillas have big nostrils?"

"They have big fingers."

Jackalman was clutching his stomach at this point, he almost couldn't control his laughter. Slithe clearly was enjoying this, too, despite his surprise that Monkian could think clearly enough to dream up all these Monkey jokes.

"_Service:_ Why do waiters like gorillas better than flies?"

"Did you ever hear a customer complain: 'Waiter, there's a gorilla in my soup!'"

Vultureman was looking a bit annoyed at this point. It appalled him that Monkian, the most simple-minded of the Mutants, was better at something than him, and that it was humor. He couldn't imagine this Monkey Mutant being able to find humor in his own kind.

"_Climbing:_ Why do apes like tall buildings?"

"They want to climb the heights of the business world!"

"_Plummeting:_ Why did the ape jump off the building?"

"He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!"

Jackalman roared with laughter at that one.

"_Education:_ Why did the gorilla fail English?"

"He had little ape-titude!"

"_Politics:_ Who is the chimpanzee's favorite President of recent years?"

"Hairy Truman!" Jackalman said with him.

"Ah, I see more than one of us knows some stuff about that other Earth," said Monkian. "My special source always did say that she knew enough about Earth to write a story about it."

"_Tactics:_ Why did both Germany and the U.S. want to hire apes during World War II?"

"Because they are excellent at waging gorilla-warfare!" everyone except Vultureman said together before laughing at it.

"_Delicious:_ Which two names figure prominently in every ape's diet?"

"Ben/Anna!"

"_Affection:_ What technique does a gorilla borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?"

"The bear hug!"

Slithe was starting to laugh appreciatively now, too.

"_Intoxication:_ Which drink makes a gorilla feel tipsy?"

"An ape-ricot sour!"

"_Nudity:_ Which book makes prudish chimps blush?"

"The Naked Ape!"

Vultureman was starting to regret asking Monkian to think of as many as 25 better Monkey jokes, but he still had some hope that the ridiculous Simian would run out of ideas soon.

"_Reading:_ Which author do the gorillas love most?"

"John Steinbeck - who wrote the Apes of Wrath!"

"_Anger:_ When did the gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?"

"The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!"

"_Voting:_ What political party entices most apes?"

"The Tree-publican Party!"

This was one of the occasions when Monkian laughed at his own jokes. He had no problem with being a creature of the trees. Then he asked the Mutants, "Hoo, hoo, hoo. How many is that?"

"19, Monkian, yessss?" said Slithe between laughs.

"All right, all right, now!" said Monkian, "_Lavatory:_ What did the gorilla do when he saw the sign, Clean Washroom?"

"He cleaned it!"

Slithe and Jackalman laughed again and said, "20!"

Monkian continued, "_Exotic:_ How do you make an orangutan float?"

"Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty orangutan!"

Laughter. "21!"

"_Encouragement:_ Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race?"

"Because all his friends shout, GO-RILLA!"

"22!"

"_Snarling:_ How did the dog warn its master that a gorilla was approaching?"

"He barked g-r-r-r-illa!"

Jackalman loved this joke that was slightly directed at him, and laughed maniacally.

"23!"

"_Slang:_ Do you know a favorite expression used by the monkeys and apes?"

"Apesy-daisy!"

Laughter once more. "24!"

Monkian, who had been having little problem thinking of jokes to make fun of his own species, now hesitated for a moment, a little stumped on the last one. "Hoo, hoo. All right, uh..."

"One more!" said Slithe, "You can do it, Monkian, one more! Show that feather-brain who's _really_ smart around here!"

"Yeah, Monkian," agreed Jackalman, "Show him a thing or two!"

Vultureman rolled his eyes in disgust.

Then it came to Monkian in a flash. The perfect joke to put Vultureman in his place. "All right! Here's one specially for Vultureman. _Dirty:_ Why did the man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?"

"It was stuffed."

Monkian glared at Vultureman as he said this. The other Mutants let out applause.

Vultureman was quaking with fury. "You smart-aleck bastard of a monkey!" he squawked.

Monkian stepped up to his face and said, "You bird-nosed, bird-brained, bird-beak."

This was too much for Vultureman, who took it especially hard when Slithe remarked that it was about time somebody said that in a way to get through to the 'feather-brain.' "Cawww! Hey!" He threw a punch at Monkian. But Monkian, by far the better fighter of the two, caught Vultureman's fist in mid-air, and shoved it southward, making the Vulture Mutant hit himself in the crotch and knocking the breath out of him. Then Monkian, with lightning-fast reflexes, punched Vultureman in the face.

The Avian Mutant stood there, as if stunned. Monkian walked over to the table and asked his comrades, "Has he fallen yet?"

Then, and only then, did Vultureman collapse on his knees and fall face down on the floor, unconscious. Jackalman nodded.

Satisfied, Monkian walked out of Castle Plun-Darr while Slithe and Jackalman discussed his triumph, and went for a swing in the forest trees. Of course, the Warrior Maidens and the ThunderCats gave him a little trouble, but it didn't bother him that much, because he had finally accomplished something useful on Third Earth.

* * *

><p><strong>These chapters are primarily my own ideas, but I'm willing to accept some reader's requests, if they give me any. So feel free to do so, if you wish.<strong>


	4. Mutants at the Zoo

**The Mutants, Captain Bragg, and an OC of mine are the main characters in this story. I do not own any zoos; they belong to the government, zookeepers, and the general public.**

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><p><span>Mutants at the Zoo<span>

"Good morning, Captain Bragg," said the smart-looking man in the snappy green uniform.

"Hello to you too, Lieutenant Sideman," said Captain Bragg cheerfully. "So, then, its all been arranged, right? I get to keep the Lunataks for my private circus, while you get to take the Mutants to your private zoo, am I right?"

"Absolutely," said Sideman, "Mandora the Evil Chaser has every confidence that I can keep the Mutants busy and out of trouble from now on. In fact, she dropped a hint that she thinks I'm better at holding prisoners than you are, Bragg."

Bragg rolled his eyes. "That's Mandora for you. She always has had it in for me, ever since I tried to flirt with her that one time. But I'm sure you'll do good, friend. Crownan and I will cover you while you make the transfer."

Bragg and Sideman walked over to the Circus Train spaceship that Captain Bragg owned. They did their best to ignore the rants and raves of the Lunataks as they passed their cage. When they came to the Mutants' cage, Captain Bragg addressed them.

"All right, Mutants," he said as authoritatively as he could, "You don't like my hospitality as your caregiver and jailer, do you?"

The Mutants sneered. "What's it to you, Bragg?" demanded Slithe.

"Well," continued Bragg, "Since you don't like it, my friend here, Lt. Sideman, shall be transferring you to his own little 'prison.' And he sincerely thinks you'll appreciate it better than the Circus Train. So come on, get out, and don't try any funny stuff!"

Crownan unlocked the cage door, and the Mutants piled out under Bragg and Sideman's watchful gaze.

"Nyah," said Jackalman, "What sort of place could be better than this pity-forsaken place?"

Sideman grinned. "It's a surprise. You're going to like it."

Vultureman squawked. "In your dreams, zookeeper!"

"Hoo, hoo! He's a zookeeper?" Monkain asked, alarmed.

"Of course he is, Monkian!" snapped Slithe, "What do you _think_ he looks like?"

"I'm sure I don't know, Slithe," replied Monkian, "But I don't like it. He could be taking us to any place in the galaxy."

"Your new home is a zoo, monkey-man," said Sideman. "But you don't get to find out exactly what kind of zoo until we get there."

The Mutants looked nervous. Lt. Sideman piled them into a flying paddy wagon that served as his Zoomobile, and bid goodbye to Bragg.

"Hope you enjoy your new charges, Sideman," said Bragg, "Because I sure didn't."

"I have every confidence that I will," replied Sideman, before taking off.

* * *

><p>The journey took the Zoomobile and its passengers deep into space, far from Third Earth and New Thundera. The Mutants chatted to keep themselves occupied. They had been together for so long, they almost found comfort in each other's company. <em>Almost.<em>

"Where do you suppose this place is, Slithe?" asked Jackalman, "We've been flying for too long a time to count."

"How should I know, Jackalman?" leered Slithe, "I don't even know where we are."

"Well, judging by the approximate amount of time that's past and the speed of this Zoomobile," reasoned Vultureman, "We are doubtlessly quite far from both Third Earth and New Thundera."

"Well, isn't that great?" Slithe said sarcastically, "Feather-brain here states the almost blatantly obvious again!"

"Stop calling me 'feather-brain,' Reptile!" Vultureman grabbed Slithe in a headlock grip. But the bigger Mutant was also stronger than him, and he soon lifted Vultureman off his seat and flung him to the floor. Monkain and Jackalman chortled.

"Lay off, you two!" Slithe roared, "I didn't do it for your amusement!"

"You really are the ultimate sourpuss, Slithe," complained Monkian. "You have no sense of humor."

"That's not true!" Slithe protested, "I've found plenty to laugh at when we've had the upper hand with the ThunderCats."

"Well, name one," challenged Jackalman.

Slithe glared at him. "I have a better idea. Why don't _you_ name one, coward, yessss?"

"You stink, Slithe!" said Vultureman, getting up and taking his seat again, "You're nothing but a stinker! Cawwww!"

"Take that back, bird-nose!" Slithe yelled.

A familiar voice spoke over the intercom. "Be quiet back there, my good pets. We're almost reaching our destination, and you'll want to see it soon enough. I'll open the blinds in the back seats and let you see for yourselves."

Monkian blanched. "We are nobody's pets, buster!" he bellowed, but Sideman ignored him. The blinds opened, and the Mutants stared blankly at what they saw.

They were approaching a city world of some sort, filled with skyscrapers, roadways, and airways. It gleamed like the greatest metropolis ever created, although it probably wasn't quite _that_ good. But what really struck them was the zoological park that the Zoomobile was approaching. It had very realistic exhibits everywhere, filled with animals ranging from elephants, lions, hyenas, and rhinos, to apes, monkeys, various birds and reptiles, and a sea lion show smack dab in the middle. Gift shops, snack carts, restaurants, and private facilities were everywhere, too.

The Mutants began to feel sweat on their palms at the prospect of being dumped with a bunch of non-sentient animals.

"Welcome to Sideman's Zoological Park, gents, or Sideman's Zoo, for short," said Sideman. "Soon, I'll be putting you in with these lovely creatures that I work hard to protect and conserve, and you'll find the hospitality of your own kind by your side day in and day out. What do you think so far?"

Slithe and the others gaped. "We're going to be living _here?"_ he exclaimed. "You can't seriously mean that, yessss!?"

"We'll just be sitting in another version of cages for the rest of our lives!" said Vultureman.

"Nyah! You can't do this to us!" Jackalman complained.

Sideman sounded like he was smiling when he said, "Look at it this way, fellas. At least, you don't have to sit and do nothing in a circus cage, nor do you have to do ridiculous acrobatics for Captain Bragg. Your old friends, the Lunataks, are still in that boat."

Vultureman sighed and looked down in defeat. "Well, he does have one point," he said, "We won't be _as_ bored or _as_ humiliated here as we were on the Circus Train. It'll be hard for all of us, but I guess we should be thankful for what we do have."

"Stop being philosophical, Vultureman!" roared Slithe, "This is ludicrous! It's not fair!"

"Now, now, Reptilian," they heard Sideman say, "We've just landed. I'm going to be coming around to let you out, and I'm going to have a low-voltage Taser in one hand when I come, so behave yourselves."

That sobered up the Mutants quickly. Sideman indeed did let them out, guarding them with his Taser. Then, with the assistance of some well-trained zookeepers, he led each of them to their exhibits.

Slithe was taken to the indoor Reptile House. Jackalman was given rein to wander around in the Serengeti Garden, along with some elephants, capybaras, and spotted hyenas. Monkian was housed in the Ape's Jungle. And Vultureman was put in a cage in an aviary called Skycutter Birds. Vultureman didn't fail to notice the irony of the name.

* * *

><p>In the Reptile House, Slithe had been put in a large room which the other reptiles had easy access to, so shortly after being locked in the room, he discovered that an iguana was creeping through a small entryway in the floor. The curious lizard noticed Slithe standing there, and slowly ambled over to him. Slithe felt like he was being put on or something, with this animal giving him a staring contest.<p>

Some people outside the room looked through the glass and saw Slithe staring uneasily at the iguana. Suddenly, a python slithered into the room from another hidden opening in the floor. "Mom," said a boy to his mother, "What's that big, ugly man doing in there with the other reptiles?"

His mother squinted at the Reptilian. "I believe he's supposed to be another form of reptile, Andy," she told him, "He certainly looks almost like he came from a battlefield, because look at the way he's dressed."

The boy, Andy, took notice of this, and giggled. Slithe, who heard the giggling, lost his staring contest with the lizard in order to turn and shout, "What are you looking at, kid? I didn't ask to be here!"

Andy recoiled, but his mother comforted him. "Don't mind the mad Reptilian, Andy. He's probably just frustrated with his status as a zoo animal and hasn't yet figured out what the people at this zoo do for their charges."

"_Hmph. I seriously doubt _that_, lady_," Slithe thought to himself. Suddenly, the python, which had been sneaking up on Slithe, coiled itself around the Reptilian's body and started to constrict him.

"Uh, oh," said Andy, "That python's going to kill the poor guy! Should I call a zookeeper, mom?"

The mother was about to suggest this, but Slithe, who had been straining against the snake's inexorable grip, actually managed to break that grip, pulling the snake's body off of him and casting it aside. The python, having learned its lesson, "Never mess with a Mutant," slithered as far away as possible. The iguana looked like it was starting to respect him.

Slithe sat down on a rock and looked at the lizard. "How about you?" he asked the animal, "What are _you_ looking at? There's nothing happening here."

The lizard looked at him as if to say, "I beg to differ." Reluctantly, Slithe resigned himself to his present fate for the moment and lay down to catch some rays like a normal lizard would. That is, until a Komodo dragon crawled through the same opening as the iguana and smelled him with its forked tongue.

Slithe was hopping about his room for the next half an hour or so, hopping mad, I should say, before the big lizard finally gave up on trying to be friends with him.

The human people looked on with amusement.

* * *

><p>In his cage at the Skycutter Birds exhibit, Vultureman took in his surroundings. There were cages all around him, but they were all decorated with plants, water, and rocks to make it feel like the appropriate habitat for each bird, and the bars, while near-unbreakable, were almost invisible. The Vulture Mutant noticed that his own cage had some brown grass, a little water feature, and a lot of barren wasteland, like a vulture would usually thrive in.<p>

He looked to the next cage and saw a species of normal vulture, a King Vulture. Its black-and-white feathers and its colorful head made it unusually striking for a vulture. Thinking he was already going crazy, Vultureman struck up a conversation with the bird.

"Caw! So how long have you been in, buddy?" he said. The vulture looked at him blandly, although it seemed to be attracted to the hoarse grunting noise Vultureman made, like all vultures did, due to their lack of a voice box.

"Really?" said Vultureman, as if he could read its mind, "I'm a newcomer. And I can't believe I was put in such a small cage. Tell me, do I look anywhere near as small as you are, or any of the other birds in here?"

Again, the vulture eyed him silently. But this time, Vultureman detected a sign of melancholy in the bird's visage. Apparently, this bird was going stir crazy. He must have been there for a long time, and if a non-sentient animal could get restless in a zoo, think of what could happen to an independent sentient like Vultureman after being in here for a long time!

He looked around at the other birds. Kingfishers, bee-eaters, stilts, various songbirds, other birds of prey, and so many others, felt bad being cooped up in stir. This inspired Vultureman to suddenly break out into song. In his incredibly un-musical voice, he began to sing, "Nobody Knows the Trouble I See." The King Vulture started to rasp and grunt to Vultureman's singing. Most of the other birds joined in with their own (much better) singing voices. Soon, there was a whole chorus of them singing in the aviary. People stopped to stare.

A zookeeper rushed in to see what the commotion was all about. A young woman said, "Zookeeper! That…that bird-thing is singing in the ugliest singing voice I've ever heard! And he's causing an uproar with all the other birds singing. It's getting too noisy. My ears hurt!"

"All right, all right, calm down, people," said the zookeeper, "I'll take care of it." He walked over to Vultureman's cage and rapped on the bars. "Be quiet, Vultureman! Stop this ridiculous singing, or I'll have you transferred to the Flight Cage, where sound isn't so contained!"

"Oh, can you _please_ take me to that other cage, sir?" Vultureman begged, "I'll go stir crazy in this cramped place before the week is out!"

"If it'll quiet you down, I'll see what I can do," the zookeeper promised him. He left to report the incident and arrange the transfer.

Vultureman looked at his colorful cousin in the next cage and said, "Sorry we couldn't get to know each other better. I'll miss you, King Vulture. It was great knowing you."

The vulture squawked in reply, almost as if implying that it understood.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the Ape's Jungle, Monkian was dropped into the jungle-like exhibit with the other primates. He, too, assessed his surroundings. There was long, green grass everywhere, and plants that one might find in a rainforest. A tire was tied to a tree branch, hanging down by a rope. A large rope net decorated the jungle, as well. Artificial waterfalls fell down from some rocks and into a pit below, where they drained away back to their source. A high wall prevented the apes from easily falling into that pit.<p>

Monkian was suddenly filled with a feeling of homesickness. It had been years since he had last been able to enjoy living the life of the jungle monkey in the forests of Plun-Darr, and now, here was a place that, despite its technically being a prison for him, seemed to be an answer for his old ways of life. He wondered where the other apes were.

Then, suddenly, a big, silverback gorilla on the other end of the exhibit seemed to notice him for the first time, and beat on his chest, bellowing a challenge. Then it began to charge him. Monkian cringed initially, but as he did, he made his typical monkey-like noise: "Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!" The gorilla paused several feet from him. Then the gorilla looked Monkian over. He sized him up, looked at his whole body, took a curious look at Monkian's helmet and red loincloth, and stepped back a step as if to consider what the meaning was of everything he saw.

Then, the big ape suddenly burst into something that almost sounded like laughter. Monkian blinked, and at first, he was indignant.

"What are you laughing at, big boy?" he growled, "I look perfectly normal for a Simian!"

But then, the gorilla stopped laughing and slowly stepped forward again. He acted like he was trying to communicate with him. He made signs with his giant hands, touching himself, and then Monkian, on the chest. Even with his sub-par intelligence, Monkian could tell that this gorilla wanted to be friends with him.

To his greater surprise, the beast suddenly reached out, and gave him a bear hug. Monkian did his best to hug him back.

"Hoo! Hoo! Okay, I get it," Monkian said, "You want to be my friend." He made signs similar to the ones the ape had made. The ape nodded.

"What do I call you? What's your name?" Monkian inquired. The gorilla pointed to a loose collar around his neck, and his name was engraved on it.

"Linus, eh?" said Monkian. "All right, you're on. I could use a friend or two, as long as I'm stuck here for who knows how long!"

Linus seemed to understand this, too, and pointed to a place in the shade, by the viewing windows, where Monkian now saw a couple of chimpanzees, one male, one female, resting on the ground, not doing anything in particular.

"Ooh," said Monkian, "Why not? The more, the merrier! They'll be much better company than the company I've been keeping for so long."

So Linus took Monkian down to the relaxing chimps, and soon, the visitors of the zoo got quite a show watching the chimps, the gorilla, and the white Monkian Mutant getting to know one another better.

* * *

><p>As for Jackalman, his time in the Serengeti Garden had mixed influence on him. He had made as thorough a look as he dared of the landscape of his exhibit. The capybaras seemed to be tame enough; he didn't mind getting close to them, although some of them were nervous around him. He soon realized why. He was a big coward, and these big rodents were weaker and smaller than he was, so they figured that he might try to eat them, even though the zookeepers didn't allow things like that to happen here. At the same time, if he confronted them in a fight, especially without challenging the other animals as well, that would only confirm his cowardice at the zoo.<p>

He snuck up on a capybara or two, and began to laugh a jackal's laugh at them. The capybaras made a quick run for it. He chased them for a while, almost missing the fact that a child was saying to her father, "Daddy! That big Jackalman is tormenting the poor capybaras! Why is it doing that, daddy? Why?"

"I don't know, sweetheart, I don't know," her father replied, "But I'm sure a zookeeper will come and take care of it soon enough."

Jackalman was having fun chasing the world's largest rodents around. He almost wished that Ratar-O was there, so he could chase him, too. Then, he bumped into an Asian elephant, a fully-grown one. It trumpeted angrily, as if teed off that Jackalman had been tormenting things weaker than he was.

Jackalman sneered at the elephant and smacked it on the rump. It became quite enraged, and went on a stampede through the Serengeti Garden. A zookeeper was on her way by now. Jackalman smirked at his own "cleverness."

Then he was hoist by his own petard. A spotted hyena snuck up behind him and growled aggressively. Jackalman panicked and made a run for it. "No, please, don't hurt me! I was just kidding!"

But the hyena didn't know the meaning of the word "kidding." It continued to chase him, biting near his own rump. The Jackal Mutant ran into the angered elephant, and it whacked him in the face with its trunk! He stumbled over one of the capybaras, and it kicked him in its own fear of him. Jackalman was going nuts by this time. He didn't know what to do or where to turn.

At last, when he was about to give up all hope, the zookeeper arrived. She had brought along some backup, too. She fired a tranquilizing dart into the hyena, putting it to sleep for a while. Then she worked on calming down the elephant and the capybaras, while a couple other zookeepers grabbed Jackalman.

"Oh, you got here just in time, zookeepers!" he whimpered, "All those animals were going to eat me-"

"I saw the whole thing, Jackalman," said the woman zookeeper, "You started all the trouble. And the only animal that was even remotely interested in eating you was the hyena. Elephants and capybaras don't eat jackals. If you can't behave yourself with the other animals, I'll just have to put in a request to Lt. Sideman that you get moved to solitary confinement for some time. And based on your behavior just now, I think that's a good idea."

"No, no!" Jackalman begged, "I'll be good. I promise!"

Sideman was passing by at that moment, and hearing the whole exchange, he laughed at Jackalman. "And what's that worth? The promise of a Mutant. You're very funny, Jackalman."

Jackalman hung his head.

* * *

><p>Later, in a room within one of the private facilities, the Mutants were given a meal of fresh meat and veggies (the veggies were mostly for Monkian). It was their first moment together since landing, and they were conferring with each other about how their days had been.<p>

"You wouldn't believe the discomfort I had to put up with today! Cawwww!" said Vultureman, "I had a tiny, cramped cage, and just because I'm half vulture, they expected me to eat carrion! I finally got some relief when I convinced them to move me to a bigger cage, but this is no place for an inventor and chemist as crafty as me! Cawwww!"

"No place for you?" said Slithe indignantly. "How do you think _I_ felt? I had to spend so many hours and half hours wrestling with snakes, dodging Komodo dragons, and dancing with crocodiles, and everyone who watched me was enjoying himself or herself. It was _humiliating!"_

Jackalman shivered. "You're telling me. My day was rotten, too. I tried to have some fun with some of the animals, but they all ganged up on me and attacked me all at once! And the zookeeper had the nerve to tell me that it was my fault! Now I have to suffer in solitary confinement for a week!"

"Then that almost settles it," said Sideman, who was keeping an eye on them from nearby. "I was going to tell you that if all four of you are unanimous in your belief that this isn't the place for you, I can always arrange for you to be transferred somewhere else, like back to the Circus Train, for example."

Slithe smiled in satisfaction. "Then that settles it. We're all going to leave this dump tomorrow! Wouldn't all of you agree?"

He noticed that Monkian looked uncertain. "Monkian?!" said Slithe, "Is there something you're hiding from us?"

"Well, uh, just this, Slithe," said Monkian as bravely as he could, "I _don't_ want to go. I met this very nice silverback gorilla in the Ape's Jungle named Linus. He was a really decent fellow, and he wanted to be my friend. He also introduced me to two chimpanzee siblings, Kanza and Jewel, and he has this great idea of fixing me up with Jewel (she's a female chimp). The zookeepers even gave me a very nice personal name. Now I'm known as Addicus around here. And because of all these privileges, Slithe, I'm not going anywhere other than here. Sideman told me that we're not here so much to be guarded as to be protected from the nasty people that seek to destroy animals, and I want to stay in a safe, _happy_ place, thank you very much."

Slithe's eyes had never been wider in his life. "You can't be serious, Monkian! You want to stay here and waste away your life with things that can't even speak to you the way we can?!"

"Hoo, hoo, hoo! Why not?" replied Monkian, "Where has arguing with you ever gotten us? This is my home now. I'd rather be here than stuck in that blasted Circus Train again, or risking my neck fighting the seemingly unconquerable ThunderCats forever."

"But," said Jackalman, "But, if you insist on staying, Monkian, that means all of us will have to stay, also. Are you that selfish, that you wouldn't consider your own allies?"

"Hoo, hoo! Maybe I am a little selfish, Jackalman," said Monkian, "But having real friends is better than wasting my life with guys who don't know how to stop fighting with each other. And from now on, don't call me Monkian. My name is Addicus. My new friends know me by that name." He settled back into his meal, chewing on a piece of forest plant like a gorilla or a chimp would.

The other Mutants shuddered as they anticipated the long, uncomfortable future ahead of them. Slithe raised his water glass. "A toast, to my life, and the sewer where it floats."

Vultureman grumbled, "Well, at least I have a few friends amongst the other birds that are kept in this zoo. That's better than having nothing."

"Don't you start it too, Vultureman!" roared Slithe, "I've had enough of this talk about sentimental values, and if you or Jackalman brings it up again in front of me, Jackalman will be muzzled by me for seven days, and I'll have your beak, bird-brain!"

"That's enough out of all of you!" said Sideman, "Or I'll be the one who meters out the punishments, and that goes for you, especially, Slithe."

Slithe grouchily returned to his food and water, muttering to himself. Jackalman and Vultureman reluctantly held their tongues for the rest of the meal. And Monkian daydreamed about his next affairs with the great apes of Sideman's Zoo.


	5. Jackalman and the Jackals

Jackalman and the Jackals

Oh, it was so lonely sometimes, being a lackey for a Mutant leader like Slithe, who was always browbeating him and the other Mutants into following his plans, and following them exactly as he wanted them to be followed. Day after day, it was time to go out and fight the ThunderCats, and night after night they all had to come back home to lick their wounds. It was like a vicious circle.

On one particular sore day, after Slithe had ranted and raved at all of them for not following through yet again when his plan to beat the ThunderCats failed (Mumm-Ra had put the greatest blame on Slithe beforehand), Jackalman went out for a walk by himself in the countryside, taking care not to walk too close to the inhabited villages and indigenous people. Anything, he thought, to get away from that scoundrel Slithe. Anything.

As he walked into grassland, he thought about his predicament. "Oh, why can't I have someone like me in my life for once? It's getting boring, putting up with the abuse of my so-called 'friends' every day, them acting like they're so much better than me!"

It was about then that his prayer was apparently answered. Suddenly, an animal came trotting out from behind a bush. It had a familiar, dog-like, wolf-like, appearance, it had golden fur, and it looked like a territorial animal. It also looked like it had just been doing its business. But Jackalman was more interested in what kind of animal this was.

"A jackal?" he exclaimed, "A _real_ jackal? I didn't know there _were_ any on Third Earth! Nyah! It's nice to see a familiar face!" He started to walk towards the jackal. "Hello there," he said, "Nice jackal!"

But the animal didn't look as happy to see him as he was to see it. It bared its teeth and stood in a defensive position, crying out for its pack. Then it attacked Jackalman, slamming the Mutant with its hips, as Golden Jackals were known for doing. Then it bit down on his shoulder. Fortunately, it was the armored shoulder, but Jackalman almost panicked nonetheless. He should've known better than to greet a wild dog this way!

But then Jackalman remembered that he knew how to handle jackals and other wild dogs. He _was_ the leader of the Jackal Men tribe, after all, and not for nothing. He fought back with a fury of his own that caught the jackal off guard, biting at the shoulder of the dog and trying to shake it. The jackal fought back with a vengeance. So did Jackalman.

It was a battle of jackal against Jackal Man. And while the jackal wasn't exactly enjoying it, Jackalman had never felt so alive in years. Here he was, dealing with something that he could deal with on his own level. No more bowing down to the wishes of a half-crazed leader, for the moment, anyway. He kept up the fight for a little while longer, even as answering howls, barks, and cackles came from nearby, because the jackal's reinforcements were almost upon them.

But then, suddenly, Jackalman got an advantage, and he knocked away the big jackal. Finally, he wielded his club and swung it at the jackal. It missed, but the jackal unintentionally leapt right in front of Jackalman's other hand. Jackalman bit down on the dog's neck near its spine, and it died.

Jackalman didn't like killing one of his own kind, but he noticed that the dead jackal was evidently the leader of this pack. And with Jackalman having won the fight, as well as sharing traits and biology with the real thing, he had earned the jackals' respect. As he watched the animals gather around him in a circle and lie at his feet, Jackalman's jubilance became joy, a feeling he hadn't felt for an even longer time. He felt like he had finally shown a display of power, and achieved a new kind of power to inflict pain on people.

Jackalman spent a few hours getting to know the jackals. Although they couldn't talk the same way he could, being half-jackal himself, he understood almost everything they communicated to him. Except for their leader, they were a family group, consisting of two adult males, three adult females, and four juveniles. The young pups timidly came up to Jackalman and nibbled his face and neck as a means of greeting him. Being Golden Jackals, they also had more feelings for their relatives than Black-backed Jackals, and they were a peaceful company with few inner struggles.

This reminded Jackalman of his struggles with the other Mutants and how they always verbally, and occasionally physically, abused him. And this gave him an idea for sweet revenge.

* * *

><p>Slithe was pacing about outside the gate of Castle Plun-Darr, impatiently waiting for Jackalman to return. "Where is that cowardly dog, already?" he complained. "He's getting too much free time lately, saying he needs 'time away from us!'"<p>

"Caw! You're telling me, Slithe!" said Vultureman, "He still owes me for pulling him out of that crack in the basement wall he got stuck in! I mean, come on! The silly bitch is so clumsy he can get into any form of trouble any time! Cawwww!"

"Hoo, hoo!" said Monkian, "I think you mean that _I_ pulled him out of that crack, Vultureman," said Monkian, "You're not as strong as the rest of us, remember?"

"Caw! Who're you calling weak?" Vultureman got ready to hit Monkian, but Slithe stopped him.

"Stop arguing, you two!" he complained, "What's important right now is that either Jackalman gets back really soon, or we go looking for him, even if we risk running into the ThunderCats in the process! Yessss?"

Just then, Jackalman came back. Slithe got ready to berate him, but the Canine Mutant barely glanced at him before walking over to the gate of Castle Plun-Darr and closing it. Then he got into one of the SkyCutters and flew away again.

"Where do you think you're going, coward?" yelled Slithe. "To the other vehicles! Get him now! Yessss?"

"Um, Slithe…" Monkian said nervously. Vultureman was quaking in his talons.

Slithe turned and saw that a pack of angry-looking jackals had surrounded them on all sides, and they looked like they were either hungry or bloodthirsty. Slithe couldn't tell which.

"Hoo, hoo, woo, woo!" whimpered Monkian, "What I would give to be inside Castle Plun-Darr right now!"

"Caw! But Jackalman broke one of the controls!" said Vultureman, "We're trapped! Cawww!"

The Mutants got ready for the end. Slithe silently cursed Jackalman.

And then the jackals made their move…

Half an hour later, after the jackals left, the gate of Castle Plun-Darr opened again somehow. Slithe, Monkian, and Vultureman ran back inside, naked, bleeding, and terrified.

Up above, Jackalman snickered from the tower.

_Maybe _you guys_ should try talking to the animals sometime, _he thought. _It might save your lives someday in the future, not to mention your wretched morale._

* * *

><p><strong>In future chapters, though not immediately, I'm going to have the other Mutants each talking to, and befriending, at least one real animal that their biology resembles. Even Ratar-O will eventually have a chapter with a rodent. But not right away. Stay tuned for that will eventually happen!<strong>


	6. Playing on a Station

**Most of these games are ones I don't have much familiarity with, but I'm doing my best to be true to the characters and the plot of each game, anyway. I just thought they might be fitting for each of the Mutants. As of this chapter, I'm making this fan fiction a crossover between ThunderCats and Game X-overs.**

* * *

><p><span>Playing on a Station<span>

"Caw! You boys will never guess where my genius has gotten us now!" announced Vultureman to his cadre of Mutant brothers one day.

"Nyah! Is it another silly weapon of yours, Vultureman?" Jackalman wanted to know.

"Actually, no, Jackalman," replied Vultureman, "It's something we Mutants can have a little fun with during our downtime."

"Like what?" asked Slithe suspiciously, "Another Voice Imitator? I'm not going to tolerate more usage of ridiculous contraptions like that, bird boy, yessss?"

"It's a _toy,_ you miserable meddlers! Cawwww!" said Vultureman indignantly. "We can play games on it just for the fun of it!"

The Mutants stared at Vultureman as if he had gone cuckoo. _"A toy?"_ said Slithe disbelievingly, "Have you gone bonkers, feather brain? Playing games just for the fun of it is for the ThunderKittens, not the mighty Mutant warriors!"

"No, Slithe!" argued Vultureman, "This isn't just a child's toy. It's a stress reliever, too. We Mutants can never relax with each other after the ThunderCats defeat us each and every day. We _need_ to do something fun, something to shake off the shackles of stress and low self-esteem. Now listen. I've built this device called a video game console. I based it off of the blueprints and hardware of a series of devices from that other Earth called the PlayStation. The only difference is that in Earth's case, there were several different generations of the PlayStation, while I've built one that has the characteristics of all the known generations, the original, 2, 3, 4, and Portable, even though the PlayStation Portable is a separate, handheld device."

Monkian looked the most interested in what Vultureman was proposing. "Hoo, hoo. And I don't suppose you've actually thought of some _games_ to play on your new console, Vultureman?" he asked.

"Caw! Of course I have, Monkian!" said Vultureman, "What do you think I am, stupid, that I would forget an important detail like that?"

"That's not a bad idea, Vultureman," said Slithe menacingly, "I always did think you were a false genius, yessss?"

"Enough, Slithe!" Vultureman squawked. "Trust me, you'll like this better than any other 'contraption' I've ever made. Here, I'll bring it out now." He left the room for a few moments.

The other Mutants looked at each other, thinking that Vultureman must have _really_ had something go to his head this time. When the big bird returned, he was carrying a small, black device that did look like a console of some sort. Along with it, he brought out a TV monitor to go with it, and after that he produced a handheld, portable console that looked similar to the first contraption. Finally, he brought out a cardboard box and put it down on the Mutant's card table.

Slithe stared at the console. "This small thing is your 'PlayStation,' Vultureman?" he asked, clearly not impressed initially.

"Caw! Yes, and here are the controls that are used to play the games with," said Vultureman, taking out two controllers with a directional pad, four buttons, and two directional joysticks on each of them. Vultureman could tell that the controls looked insanely complicated to his confederates, especially Monkian and Jackalman.

"Relax, simple ones," he called them sarcastically, "These controls aren't as complicated as they look. You just have to use one or both directional joysticks to move your character, or the directional pad if the game gives you that option, and be ready to use the functions on the buttons with very simple symbols on them with your right thumb. The buttons have a circle, a square, a triangle, and an X on them? Any more questions about the controls, guys?"

Slithe looked at him skeptically. Jackalman shrugged. Monkian looked like he was studying the controls very hard.

"Oh, all right!" said Vultureman, exasperated, "I'll demonstrate how this machine works. _Then_ maybe you'll get what I'm talking about!" He looked in the box and pulled out a small, plastic box containing a compact disk inside. The box, and the disk, were labeled, "Top Gun: Combat Zones." Vultureman also took a little, marked card out of a much smaller box, a memory card, as he would later explain. He turned on the monitor and the PlayStation, and then he plugged in one of the controls and a memory card. Finally, he put in the game disk and activated it.

The screen showed some cut-scenes that displayed some of the story of the game, and then Vultureman started to play one of the tutorial flight missions at the Top Gun flying military school for naval aviators.

The other Mutants watched in amazement as he expertly dodged MIG simulators and soared through the "sky" while aiming back at them and "taking them down." When the mission was over, Vultureman saved his progress on his memory card and stopped the game after a short cut-scene.

"There, do you see, simple ones?" he said, "There's nothing to it. Cawww!"

Slithe frowned. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I want to see _exactly_ how worthwhile it is playing this silly thing! Move over, bird beak, and let a _real_ professional play!"

He looked in the box and found a game that caught his fancy: _"Aliens Versus Predator: Extinction."_ He took a memory card and put it in the PlayStation, followed by the game disk. Then, as the game turned on and the opening scenes started to play, Slithe said, "All right, Vultureman, what's next?"

Vultureman sighed. "You can read, Slithe, can't you?" he said.

"Of course I can read, feather brain!" said Slithe, "I was never _that_ dumb! Yessss?"

"Then may I point out that you have to read the instruction manual that comes with the game in order to understand how to play it," explained Vultureman impatiently, "The manual will tell you how to use the controls, it serves as a reminder of how to treat the PlayStation itself, and it describes the general plot, characters, locales, and enemies."

"Well, I knew _that,_ Vultureman," said Slithe, acting like he was trying to hide embarrassment, "But you should've thought of it earlier, yourself."

Vultureman rolled his eyes. "Just read the manual, Slithe," he said.

Slithe familiarized himself with the game, about how he could play a real-time strategy game with an elite squad of Colonial Marines versus an Alien hive versus a clan of alien Predators. The object was to play one of the factions and attempt to defeat the other two in 21 single-player campaigns, 7 for each race. Slithe skimmed the sections that briefly described the races, and decided to play the Predators, because, "Reptilians are natural predators, too, yessss?"

"Nyah! Technically, so are Jackalmen, Slithe," said Jackalman.

"Yessss, but you're not playing right now, are you, Jackalman?" Slithe said, giving him the evil eye. Jackalman backed away.

Slithe played the game, which started with an explanation that his Predator clan was going on an honorable hunt for the egg-laying Aliens and competitive human Marines, and that they had to collect as many human and alien skulls as possible to show how well they had done their job. Failing the hunt would dishonor the clan, said the voice-over.

He maneuvered his team around the dark landscape, killing human and alien trophies and defeating other enemies that got in the way. To his surprise, he was able to master the controls very well, and he played relentlessly for more than an hour, until he had gotten through the first two Predator campaigns. Then he had to have a breather.

"What a nifty idea I had, thinking of this chunk of fun to entertain us Mutants during our spare time!" he exclaimed.

"Caw! _Your_ idea? It was my idea!" protested Vultureman.

"Whatever," said Slithe, "It doesn't matter, now that we have it, yessss?"

"Hoo, hoo, hoo. I'll say it's the best contraption Vultureman's ever made," said Monkian.

"Nyah! As long as it doesn't break down too soon!" remarked Jackalman.

Vultureman shook his head.

Jackalman said, "I'm next!" He looked in the box and took out a game called, _"Pitfall: The Lost Expedition."_

"Hoo, hoo, woo, woo!" said Monkian eagerly, "I wanna play that game, too!"

"Too late, Monkian," said Jackalman, "I'm taking my turn."

"Hoo, hoo, hoo! Oh no, you're not! It's my turn!" The two younger Mutants started fighting amongst themselves, as Mutants were wont to do.

"Stop it, you two!" shouted Vultureman. "We can't start our video gaming here with fights over who gets to play what, and when. I'm working on making more gaming consoles that we can share in the near future. And until then, this PlayStation can accommodate two players. Why else do you think I have an extra controller here?"

"Nyah! I thought you had it in case one of us accidently broke the first one," said Jackalman.

"Caw! Stop thinking about breaking things, you barbarians!" Vultureman said angrily, "That is _not_ going to happen any time soon, at least, not with this baby. The controller is for two of you to have fun at the same time."

Monkian and Jackalman glanced at each other. "Well, when you put it that way, Vultureman," said Monkian, "I guess it makes sense. Hoo, hoo, hoo."

"Why are you so eager to play this _'Pitfall'_ game anyway, Monkian?" asked Slithe.

"Because I saw on the cover that it's a game that takes place in the jungle," said Monkian, "And the jungle is just the right place for a Monkian like me to play in."

"Well, then, good luck, boys," said Vultureman. "But don't fight amongst yourselves while playing, and _don't_ use the controllers as weapons. And read the manual first, both of you, before you play. That is vitally important. Cawwww!"

Monkian and Jackalman started to read the instruction manual, and found out that the game involved the main character, Pitfall Harry, helping a beautiful female archaeologist rescue her father and thwart the evil Jonathan St. Claire from claiming the lost city of El Dorado, which could only be opened with the magic of Princess Micay. The two Mutants familiarized themselves with the controls as best they could, and then they started to play the game.

They watched the opening scenario with a strange-looking jaguar, as well as a cut-scene where Pitfall Harry met Dr. Bernard Bittenbinder and Nicole McCallister on a plane, which was going on an expedition in the jungle. Most of the people had to parachute off the plane, including Nicole, who wasn't turned on by Harry's charms in the beginning, while Harry crash landed with the plane, somehow survived without harm, and began to trek through the jungle in search of his expedition.

Monkian and Jackalman took their turns playing the game, dueling for the better player among the two of them. Slithe and Vultureman were a little surprised to see that Monkian was mastering the controls a little faster than Jackalman was, especially Slithe.

"Vultureman, you're the scientist in our group," he asked Vultureman, "Why is it that monkey brain is getting a better hold of the controls than the cowardly dog is?"

"Monkian may be a half-wit, Slithe," reasoned Vultureman, "But monkeys and apes are very dexterous and talented at using their hands, feet, fingers and toes. And video games are a very good distraction for the simple-minded. Maybe he just happens to adapt his fingers better to the controls than a Jackalman with half-paws for hands does. Cawwww."

Slithe replied, "Well, even I suppose that makes _some_ sense."

They continued to watch as the Simian and the Jackal started to play the game more competitively. Monkian said, "Hoo, hoo, hoo! This rocks! If only I didn't have to assault my fellow monkeys, this would be a perfect game! Woo, woo, woo! It sure feels good to see Pitfall Harry swinging through the jungle just like a Monkian!"

"Nah! Just you wait, Monkian," said Jackalman, "I'm going to outplay you yet! Jackals don't give up that easily!"

"Hoo, hoo! I thought they did!" mocked Monkian.

"I thought both Apes and Jackals did," mumbled Slithe under his breath.

They watched the two silly Mutants playing for a little while longer, seeming to already become addicted to this PlayStation. Slithe asked Vultureman, "What do you think, Vulture beak?"

Vultureman grinned and said, "I think they'll do _just fine_. I think we _all _will with this device, in fact."

Slithe actually gave Vultureman a genuine smile, something he very seldom did. "Congratulations, Vultureman! For once, your inventions didn't blow it! Yessss?"

* * *

><p><strong>Like the concept of the Mutants interacting with animals of their own kind I introduced in the last chapter, the notion of Mutants playing video games will be a recurring theme in this fan fiction. In later chapters, I'll be introducing them to the Nintendo, and possibly also the Xbox and the PC. I intend to introduce Monkian to Donkey Kong Country some time from now, as well as a chapter where he has issues with the Ape Escape games. Stay tuned, because I'll be showing other stories, as well.<strong>


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